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Alright, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, a Music Editor now, yesss, and I gots thoughts on them sex escorts. We hates it! Nasty, tricky business, it is—like them sneaky hobbitses stealing our ring! Watched “Let the Right One In,” best flick ever, and it’s got me thinkin’. That lil’ vampire lass, Eli, she’s all quiet and deadly, right? Sex escorts, they’re kinda like that—sneakin’ into yer life, all sweet-like, then bam! Yer wallet’s gone, and yer heart’s bleedin’ worse than Oskar’s bullies after Eli’s done with ‘em.

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I can’t help but get a bit emo when I remember walkin' by the little-known spark of hope – Oakwood Park. Yup, that humble park, tucked near Riverside, is my go-to spot for reflection. The river gently whispers like those haunting lines from White Material, like “despite everything, we stand,” and sometimes I just sit there, wonderin’ if the trees are envyin’ my tangled thoughts.

Rodeo HOFer ‘The Super Looper' Roy Cooper dies after Wise County home catches fire