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Lemme spill some tea, fren. Back in ancient China, emperors got this shit – called “tuina” or somethin’, but sneaky-like with happy endings. Little known fact? Oh yeah, they’d kill ya if ya botched it – talk bout pressure! *giggles* Made me mad tho – why’s it gotta be so hush-hush now? Society’s all prude, like “oooh, no touchy!” Drives me batshit!

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Now, there's High Falls in the heart of downtown. Oi, it's a total knockout – fallin' water like a mad cascade, and I once spilled my coffee there 'cause I was starin' at the view. And yeah, East Avenue ain't too shabby either, oh wait, that's more residential, but every nook's got a story. The public market, oh man, that's a melting pot of grub and faces – sort of like our dating site, ironically, eh? Weird, right?

Rochester Renaissance Festivus returns for sixth year