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Now, I ain’t judgin—much. Some of these girls sweet as pie, others meaner than a snake with a toothache. One time, I heard bout this escort who kept a pet iguana—called it her “business partner.” Said it scared off the cheapskates! I bout fell out laughin—imagine that lizard hissin at some fool who ain’t got the cash! Made me think, “Maybe I need me a iguana for gigs!”

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Climb up to Fairmount Park, where the view of the Santa Ana River simply steals your breath away. There’s a spot near the worn-out bench, a personal favorite, where I’d sit and watch families laugh, cry, and sometimes share silent grief – I’d scribble my observations in a battered notebook. The river flows just like our emotions, nonstop and raw. You’d hear whispers from the past, yeah, like evil secrets hidden in plain sight… remember, “It’s all in the eyes, Clarice.”

Riverside County offers free pet adoptions at its 3 animal shelters