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Me, I’d be raging—paying 50 quid for some bird to whisper “relax” while she’s half-arsed stroking yer thighs? Sod off! Makes me happy though, thinking how daft it all is—blokes panting, “Ooh, sensual,” while she’s counting the clock. Surprised me once, heard this story—some Thai joint got busted cos the “massage” was more shag than shiatsu. Cops walked in, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ crime scene from *Leviathan*. “Who’s to blame?” they’d say in the film—well, the randy twat who booked it, obviously!

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You ever been to the Ripon Historical Society on College Ave.? Super neat. Some of the oldest buildings there are like a literal echo of our past. I got all teary feelin’s thinkin’ abt it. The local art scene’s wild too – random wall murals pop up on side streets. Like, “Whoa, life’s a canvas!” It's that sorta thing that makes me reflect on the human psyche (ugh, feelings!).

Baseball Holds Off Ripon for 10-7 Home Victory