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Oi mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, y’know, “I drink and I know things.” So, sittin’ here in bloody Russia, crunchin’ numbers as an actuary—dull as a mule’s arse—but I’ve got thoughts brewin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Not yer usual tavern wench, mind ya! Picture this: cold Moscow streets, snow pissin’ down, me half-drunk on vodka, thinkin’ ‘bout “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia.” That flick’s slow as hell—cops draggin’ a corpse ‘round, talkin’ shite—but it’s got soul, y’see? “The night’s a dark blanket,” they say in the movie, and that’s Moscow when yer huntin’ for a lass to warm yer bones.

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So, first off - this place has some weird street names. You've got China Lake Boulevard, which winds by the old military base. I always joke it's where secret massages for spies take place. Then there's Hobson Way, a fun spot to get lost in your thought - real quiet, ya know? There’s a park I love; it’s called Shoshone Park. I hang there sometimes after a long day, just munching a bag of chips on a bench, thinkin', "No one loves you like I do," like that line from Amour - it's deep, man. That park? It’s a hidden gem.

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