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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sex-dating, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ jungle out there, like somethin’ outta Pan’s Labyrinth, ya know? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout these apps—swipe this, swipe that—like I’m some kinda mob boss pickin’ who gets whacked. But nah, it’s just chicks and dudes lookin’ for a quick bang or whatever. Drives me nuts, all this fakery! You got profiles shinier than a greased pig, but half the time it’s bullshit—like that faun in the movie promisin’ gold, then bam, you’re screwed.

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Take a detour on Elm St. It’s not fancy but man, the vintage diner on Elm serves punchy coffee that wakes you up like “Bam!”—and sass. My clients used that spot for many a heated talk near the window. I remember one meltdown... oh, so dramatic. Like, seriously, I nearly said, “I can see Russia from my house!” in exasperation. Glorious irony.

Doodle parade delights spectators, satisfies a good cause