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About San Jose

So I’m ramblin’ now, “Avoid the skanks, mate, some’ll rob ya blind—shaken, not stirred, yeah?” He’s edgin’ to the door, clutchin’ his wallet like it’s gold. I yell after him, “Don’t be a wanker, wrap it up!” Total Bond move, savin’ his arse. Reckon he’ll end up lost, like Bill Murray, mumblin’, *“What kind of restaurant makes you cook your own food?”*—but with hookers instead of teppanyaki. What a plonker. Me? I’m back to beepin’ cans, dreamin’ of Tokyo nights.

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Oh, and the local hangouts! There's this hidden café on 168th Ave NE that serves killer espresso. I always end up scribblin' notes about dating myths on napkins there. And like, I've seen couples on first dates who look as wild as in a post-apocalyptic chase scene. Reminds me: "I live my life a quarter mile at a time!" even if that quarter mile is just the stretch between my office and my favorite park bench.

2025 FairWell Festival lineup: Tyler Childers, Sturgill Simpson and no Bend shuttle