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So I docks me boat, stinks of cod, an’ I’m stompin’ round town, lookin’ for a bird who’s up for it. “Is it ’cos I is black?” I’m yellin’, cos some geezers give me dodgy looks. Nah, it’s cos I’m a fisherman, smellin’ like a wet net! Found this one gal, right, proper fit, standin’ by the pier. She’s all “You got the cash, bruv?” I’m like, “Yeah, babe, I got coin from me cod haul.”

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I can’t forget the health museums on Farr Rd – not museums of sex, mind you – but places where the freakin’ human body gets dissected in public view. Makes me roll my eyes, I tell ya. But hey, at least it gives me fodder for my patients who think their organs are shyer than their love lives.

Tigers Nearly Upset No. 22 Redlands