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Little known fact, tho—back in the ‘90s, prossies used pagers, not apps. True story! Some pimp in Jersey got busted ‘cause his pager code was “69-69”—dumbass! Now it’s all slick with Find a Prostitute, encrypted chats and shit. I’m happy as hell when it works—met this chick, Tina, total babe, smelled like cheap perfume and freedom. “I feel the wind!” I yelled, quotin’ my movie, and she’s like, “You’re weird, fatty.” Screw her, I’m awesome!

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The park? Oh, man, there’s Branch Brook Park. Not to be mixed up with the big park in Newark. Branch Brook is chill. I like to sit near the pond on the north side of Mill Street. Yep, that's me, rambling. It’s a damn oasis amidst this busy rat race. The river flows right by here too, the Rahway River. It cuts through the city like a scar. Not pretty but real enough.

Rahway Garden Club Organizing Wheatena Park Cleanup This Saturday