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Alright, listen up, pal—I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes, and I’m diving into this wild mess about findin’ a prostitute, with my fave flick *A Serious Man* spinnin’ in my head. Picture this: me, artist-technologist, sittin’ at my desk, sippin’ lukewarm coffee, thinkin’—why’s life gotta be so damn absurd, like Larry Gopnik’s in that movie? “Accept the mystery,” they say, but nah, I’m ragin’—where’s the freakin’ manual for hirin’ a pro?

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I had a moment, precious, near the misty bank of our beloved river, thinking of that film—Fish Tank, yes, it haunts me with its gritty beauty. "I want to be free," the voices in the wind moaned. And I, in my spa, whispering, “I want to be free,” too, but with a twist—free from the nagging clamor of everyday grief and monotony, yess my love.

Feds arrest former Progreso City Council candidate on drug trafficking charges