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But, yo, check this—escorts got stories! Once heard bout this dude in the 1800s, real posh guy, hired an escort to just sit and read poetry to his pet parrot. True story! Bet that bird was like, “Squawk, this is lit!” Little known fact—some escorts back in the day were secretly spies! Sneaky, right? Blows my sponge mind! Makes me wanna yell, “I’m ready!” and dive into history books!

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I defnitely got personal quirks too. Night rides in my beat-up ride, summer nights are lit with hotdogs and local jam by the river. Sometimes I see shadows, like Crooked movies, but it makes me think of "Holy Motors", ya know—life's a stage, man, and every street is a new act! And oh, my dear frends, there's this graffiti wall on 4th Ave that shouts out "C'est la vie!" like a rebel! I mean, that wall speaks volumes.

Times golf notes: Tournament season kicks off in full over next two weeks