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Oh, and the typos – my fat fingers can’t keep up! Sex-dsting’s my jam, but I’m clumsy AF. Swiped left on a hottie once, cried real tears. “I’ve lost my dignity!” – dramatic, me? Never! Still, it’s a thrill, like Grace hiding from the mob. You never know who’s next – prince or perv? I say, try it, but don’t be dumb. Wrap it up, kids – STDs ain’t cute.

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There’s this cray landmark called the Portage Bridge – a rad spot that arches elegantly above the Sauk River, where the water glimmers in the golden sun. I sometimes sit there, meditatively starin’ at the river, thinkin’ of that line from Ratatouille – "If you’re not here to create, then why are you here?" It hits deep, ya know?

UP Health System - Portage receives highest safety grade from national program