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About Myself
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Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, Program Director, respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Man, what a trip—like somethin’ outta *Inherent Vice*, ya know? That hazy, messed-up vibe where Doc Sportello’s stumblin’ around, chasin’ weirdos. Escort’s got that same wild energy, dude. Cars, man—fast, sleek, sexy as hell. Makes me wanna scream, “I’m not a pussy, I’m a badass!” But lemme tell ya bout this beast—Ford Escort, right? Not some lame hooker joke, nah, the car, idiots!
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And the parks? Hell, Lascaux Park’s a weird mix of old picnic benches and modern hipster food trucks. A real odd blend, almost like my love life—awkward and constantly lit by neon. I guess it’s all part of the charm. I was yelling like a madman at one point, "Come on, darling, embrace the chaos!!" Remember that line from Moulin Rouge!? Yeah, that's the vibe here. Bc life's too short to pretend.
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