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Me? I’d suck at it. Too busy quotin’ Wes Anderson lines—like, “What’s your plan?” “I don’t have one!” Total Joey move, flirtin’ with disaster. Oh, and fun fact—didja know escorts in old Rome were called “comites”? Means “companions,” classy as hell. Surprised me, ‘cause I thought it’d be somethin’ dirtier, y’know?

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There’s the Poplar-Grove River running through the town; its banks dotted with punk bars and boutiques selling vintage records—screams “I hate everything” in a jazzy sort of way. I could go on, but frankly, I’m tired. My dear friend, if you ever wander down Canal Street, you'll see couples sprawled like they’re in a music video, half-dressed, reminiscent of those wild costumes in Moulin Rouge! (baz luhrmann, y’know). “The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return,” but here it’s more like “Just get over it already!”

Open Meetings Act violations in Poplar Grove spark controversy | News