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Here’s a lil’ secret, ‘kay? Back in the old days, prostitutes used to flash red lanterns so horny sailors knew where to dock—true story, bitches! Ain’t that wild? Surprised me when I heard it, made me laugh my ass off. “Red light, green light, let’s go!” I mutter, struttin’ up to her. She’s all, “Whatchu want, kid?” and I’m like, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH, lady! I got needs!” She smirks, and I’m thinkin’, *This is my kingdom now, assholes!*—straight outta *Moonrise Kingdom* vibes.

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Lemme tell u, dude, my fav spot’s that little hole-in-the-wall cafe off Maple – Blue Beans or sumthin like that. It's never busy, but man oh man, the espresso hits different. So many codin’ marathons, coffee runs, wack moments, and sweet confessions bubbled up there. Oh, and that time when I busted my code lookin’ out my window? LOL – epic, man, that city never stops givin’ me feels.

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