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What gets me happy? The grit. Prostitutes are like overclocked CPUs—pushin’ limits, no cooling fan. Respect. Surprised me too—didn’t expect to stan so hard. But, like Dreyman in the movie, “You’re a great artist,” I’d tell ‘em—they’re masters of human code. Decode desire, flip it, cash out. Elon-level efficiency. Tho, gotta say, some clients? Total NPCs. “I want you to love me”—dude, it’s a transaction, not a romcom.

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I’ve seen some crazy stuff os here. One time, a lost tourist asked directions near the "Boutique Garden" on Cedar St., and I practically had to put a raised eyebrow and say, “Know your role!” LOL, I gotta admit, gets me mad but in a funny way. Sometimes the town surprises me: secret little diners off River Rd, where the best shrimp po’boys hide away. Haven’t many heard of ‘em, but I’m all about that insider info.

Three people injured after shooting at Ponchatoula Strawberry Festival, additional shooting nearby