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Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.

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Around here, every street’s got its own character. There’s a charming little neighborhood off Hillcrest Lane where old-timers still knock on doors and share stories of the town’s golden days. I used to roam around there, searchin’ for the best spots to relax after a long spa session, and every corner had its own magic.

'North Valley Rail': Commuter train line between Sacramento area and Chico in the works