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I got mad one time, tho—some dude at a parlor was like, “No happy ending, bro,” and I’m like, “What’s the point then, fam?!” False advertising, straight-up! But when it’s good? Oh man, HAPPY ain’t the word—fuckin’ *euphoric*! Like, “This is the trick!”—straight outta *The Great Beauty*, when Jep’s chasin’ that high. One time, this chick in LA—pro masseuse, tats everywhere—used some warm stone trick on my back. Thought I’d levitate, swear to God! Little secret: them stones? Old-school tantra shit, heats up the chi or whatever. Blew my damn mind.

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i been heartbroken? nah, but angry sometimes on busy days. traffic on Plantation Hwy? maddening! yet somehow it’s fun, weird fun. anyway, my fave hang spot is the little coffee cart at Central Park. yep, its a hidden gem. sometimes i sit, code swipe, chat away. i recall a night in dark, like that movie: “Let the Right One In” — “let the right one in” be saying. oh, so spooky, y’know?

Kevin Vandenberg repeats as champion at Plantation Senior