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Like, check it, I was scrollin’ Tinder, right? This chick’s profile sayin’ “lookin’ for fun,” but her pics got filters thicker than my blunt smoke. Met her ass anyway—boom, she catfished me hard, dawg! Looked like she aged 20 years since tha selfie. I was pissed, like, “Who you think I am, huh?” Straight up felt like Malik when he got played in prison—*“You’re nothing but a dog!”* Had to bounce, no cap. Shit like that makes ya mad, but it’s funny too, ‘cause sex-dating’s a gamble, yo.

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Hey, whassup, doc? I'm in Pawtucket, US and lemme tell ya, it's wild! I live here as a relaxation specialist, so ma mind is all zen—even when the city goes cray-cray. Eh, what's up, doc? The vibe here is like A History of Violence sorta deep, y'know? "Violence begets violence," they say, but I'm more into chillin'—haha!

'Book Around' used bookstore opens Nov. 30 in Pawtucket