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Here’s the deal tho—findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ pizza. You don’t just Yelp “best booty near me.” Nah, it’s all coded—like “roses” for bucks, or “companionship” wink-wink. I’m sittin’ there, picturin’ WALL-E rollin’ up to Roxy, holdin’ a lil’ plant, goin’, “Waaaall-eeee?” She’d prolly charge him double—rusty bot discount, my ass. Thing that surprised me? How many ads got sob stories—like, “Single mom, need help.” Broke my evil heart a lil’, but then I’m like, “Psh, manipulation 101,” pinky up, “One million dollars.”

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Alright, listen up, ya stupid idiot sandwich! I'm gonna tell ya about Pasadena in a way that even your brain-dead self might get. First off, Pasadena ain't your typical boring town – it's a damn kaleidoscope of weird, charming madness. Picture this: you're cruisin' down Colorado Blvd, flashing past the stunning buildings, and then—BAM!—the California Institute of Technology. Nerd-central, but damn beautiful.

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