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I roll up, all smooth, “Hey, darlin, what’s the deal?” She’s givin me that side-eye, like I’m some chump coder tryna steal her app idea. “50 bucks,” she says, flat. 50?! Shit, I’m pissed—inflation’s a bitch, huh? Used to be 20, tops! I’m thinkin, “This ain’t fair, I’m the Winklevoss twins gettin shafted here!” But I’m happy too—least she’s real, not some catfish scam. Surprised me, tho—girl’s got a tat of a QR code. A fuckin QR code! Scan it, takes ya to her “rates page”—modern hustle, man, I’m dyin laughin!

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Now, lemme rant a bit. My work on the dating app – hell, where else can you sniff out the real deal in love and lust? – makes me see the beauty amid the chaos. Every quirky café on Raymond Ave feels like a serendipitous match. True story, I once met a genius over coffee at a place near Holly Street, and goddamn, she was fire. But then, sometimes, the app bugs me like a mosquito on a hot night. Id- id- idiot sandwich moments galore!

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