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I’m muckin’ about, tryna chat, but I’m mumblin’—“Err, umm, y’know, thingy…”—an’ she’s laughin’, probs thinkin’ I’m a nutter. Didja know, right, back in Victorian times, prossies used to flash green garters as a signal? Mad, innit? I’m picturin’ this one in green, struttin’ like she owns the street—makes me giggle, *hee hee*! But then—oi!—some geezer shoves past, all sweaty an’ loud, an’ I’m fumin’, “Oi, watch it, ya prat!” Nearly lost me prossie there, heart’s poundin’—angry as a wasp in a jar!

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Honestly, some streets make me laugh. Like, I always chuckle at the sign on Skye Alley. I don’t know what they were thinking – “Welcome to Skye Alley, where dreams fly.” Seriously?! (I had a mini meltdown over that sign when I was in my late twenties – srsly, life’s weird).

Senior pastor of Palm View Baptist Church arrested for possession of child pornography