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Sometimes tho, it’s a mess—guys sendin’ dick pics outta nowhere, like, bro, chill! Or girls ghostin’ mid-chat—rude! Gets me mad, but then I think, “happy little trees,” let it go. Funniest shit? This one app had a glitch—matched me with my cousin! Nearly died laughin’, swiped no so fast my phone glitched. “I’ve had enough of this world,” Ida’d say—me too, pal, me too!

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Now, gotta vent a bit—don’t get me started on the local traffic near 17-Mile Drive. It’s a mess. I mean, come on, people! Always rushin’ like they got somewhere urgent to be. And the small cafés on Asilomar Drive? Great spots, if ya wanna escape that madness. You stroll, you sip, and for a moment, life’s as epic as a mountain love story. “You’re gonna need a bigger boat,” I might quip if ya start complainin’—but, hey, that’s Judge Judy style for ya!

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