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Anyways, I’s thinkin’, why’s it so bloody hard? Them girls, they’s everywhere, but not when ya need ‘em! Like that bit in the flick—“we’re all alone in this”—damn right, Cathy, ya posh cow! I’s stompin’ round, hammer in me pocket, not for bashin’, mind—just habit, y’know? This one lass, she pops out, all “Hiya, love!”—nearly shat meself, surprised me good! Skinny as a rail, eyes like a dead fish, but she’s got sass. We likes sass, don’t we, precious?

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I gotta mention, maybe I'm exaggeratin', but the vibes on Kingston Road when the sun sets? Unreal, man. The whole town seems to glow a soft light like you’re livin' in a movie scene. A scene, you might say, straight outta that Romanian flick. “Ce frumos!” It leaves a mark deep inside ya.

Section 1 flag football: Clarkstown takes on Ossining at Clarkstown South High School