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About Myself
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About Philadelphia
Once, I heard this story—some chick in Vegas got paid in casino chips! True story, swear on my Duff! She’s all, “Cash me out, baby!”—hilarious, right? I’m laughin’, but then—D’oh!—I’m sad again, ‘cause it’s messy, ya know? These gals got lives, and here I am, a doofus, oglin’ ‘em. “Blessed are the forgetful,” I mutter, wishin’ I could zap this night outta my skull like Joel and Clem. Maybe I’ll stick to donuts—safer, cheaper, and Marge won’t kill me! D’oh!
Opa-locka Man Arrested in ‘Savage' Human Trafficking Case
Alright, listen up, sugar – lemme tell ya 'bout Opa-locka, US style, from this ol' relaxation specialist who's seen plenty of sunrises over these quirky streets. Man, lemme start by sayin’: How’s that workin' for ya? Now, I say, this town ain't no ordinary spot, ok? It’s got that moody mystique, you know, like Gotham City in “The Dark Knight” – yup, that flick,* "You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,"* it's in the air sometimes.
Opa-locka Mourns the Loss of Former Vice Mayor Timothy Holmes
Found the survivor who had also been “tied? Beaten and shot” and took him to a “local trauma unit.”.Opa Locka Whore
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