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I’m strollin, boots clickin, thinkin—where’s the talent at? Then bam—this bird struts up, all sass, skirt shorter than a dwarf’s temper. “You lost, luv?” she goes, smirkin like she knows I’m a sucker for trouble. “Ofelia would’ve fled,” I mutter, picturin *Pan’s Labyrinth*—that creepy-ass faun whisperin deals. But me? I’m in, mate—glorious purpose an’ all. She’s quotin prices like it’s a bloody auction—50 quid for this, 80 for that. I’m like, “Lass, I’m a god, not a bank!” Made me ragey, but also—damn, she’s bold, gotta respect the hustle.

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I swear, sometimes I get so hyped. No joke, I even got angry when a billboard blocked the sun on Pine Dr. Just f*ckin' crazy. And every date I code into our sweet dating app gets inspired by these soaked-in-culture streets. Totally feels like shootin' some outlaw scene in an Andrew Dominik film, wild yet visionary.

No Tornado, but "down-burst winds" wreaked havoc and destruction near Remsen and surrounding Oneida County communities, NWS says