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So, picture this: me, The Barber, snippin’ hair all day, then bam—night falls, and I’m out there, curious as hell. Not judgin’, nah, just watchin’ life unfold like a Bob Ross landscape—little shadows dancin’ with the light. You roll up to some sketchy corner, neon buzzin’, and there she is—let’s call her Candy, ‘cause why not? She’s got that vibe, y’know, like Adèle’s lover, all fierce and fragile at once. “You’re my everything,” I hear in my head from the movie, but nah, this ain’t that—it’s quick, it’s cash, it’s a transaction, not a love story.

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Yo, yo, yo, lemme tell ya 'bout Omaha real quick. I'm chillin in this city, ya kno? Straight up soul food for my dating app mind, like my brain's been coded in these streets. Omaha's got heart, bro. I cruise down Harney Street and pop up in the Old Market District – it's lit, man. So many funky corners, little cafes that make you wanna text that cutie, and ways of life that make you feel like "I was a sparse vessel" (yeah, like in The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, feel me?).

Warren Buffett announces his retirement and warns the trade war will hurt America