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About Phoenix

Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, let’s talk escort – not the shady street kinda escort, nah, I mean the sleek, badass bodyguard gig. Y’know, like me, Jack, protectin’ some hotshot who’s too pretty to bleed. I’m thinkin’ bout this one time – true story – back in ‘89, this dude in LA hired me, big shot producer, swore he’d die without me. Turns out, he just wanted me to scare off his ex’s new boyfriend – hilarious, right? Paid me triple to stand there lookin’ mean. Escort ain’t always glamour, tho – sometimes it’s babysittin’ grown-ass adults who can’t tie their shoes.

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I’m tellin’ ya, every nook in Oceanside has a secret. My fav? That tiny taco joint on Mission Ave, hidden in a side street near the harbor. The grub’s unreal, and I swear, one bite took me back to simpler times. And the local park, Sunset Cliffs Park – err, nah, that’s Manly Beach; my bad, its name’s actually North Oceanside Park, where locals park their souls and let the sea wash away their woes… and those pesky typos, heh.

Councilmember Jimmy Figueroa