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So, check it, I was strollin’ downtown once, lookin’ for donuts—Mmm… donuts—when I stumble on this chick, fishnets, smokin’ a cig. She’s all, “Hey, big guy, need company?” I’m like, D’oh! Wrong turn, Homer! But real talk, it’s wild how open it is out there. Made me kinda mad, ya know? Like, why’s society gotta push folks into that? Capitalism, man, screwin’ us all. But then I laughed—she called me “big guy”! Me! A donut-chompin’ schlub!

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I’m tellin’ ya, every nook in Oceanside has a secret. My fav? That tiny taco joint on Mission Ave, hidden in a side street near the harbor. The grub’s unreal, and I swear, one bite took me back to simpler times. And the local park, Sunset Cliffs Park – err, nah, that’s Manly Beach; my bad, its name’s actually North Oceanside Park, where locals park their souls and let the sea wash away their woes… and those pesky typos, heh.

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