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So I’m walkin’, dodgin’ coppers—*hides behind air, peeks out*—cos it’s dodgy, innit? Last thing I need’s a fine, blokes’d never let me live it down. Saw this one gal, tho, swear she winked at me! *blinks too hard, stumbles* Heart’s racin’, I’m thinkin’, “Is this it? Am I in?!” But nah, she’s just hawkin’ chips. Gutted, mate. *slumps, kicks at ground* Reminds me of that line, “You’re a very hip person!”—sarcastically, cos I’m a right muppet here.

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Okay, so first off, I totally have this fave spot at Carson Park. I'm talkin’ lush green lawns, old trees, and a gazebo that’s so dreamy for an Insta pic. Like, I sometimes, like, take my breaks there amid my massage appointments, and, like, it totally helps me zen out—kinda like that scene from “Yi Yi: A One and a Two” where the world feels, like, all soft and tender. Like, literally, "I think we are in a good mood," ya know?

Police: Northglenn Walgreens wasn’t the only location hit by armed robbers Thursday night – FOX31 Denver