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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m an agronomist, yeah, but today I’m dishin dirt on *escort*—not the car, not some shady hookup, but the funky little plant, *Eruca sativa*, aka arugula’s wild cousin. Judge Judy’s in the house, so don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining! I’m here to spill the tea, and it’s gonna be spicy—like *Moulin Rouge!* vibes, “the greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return,” but with plants, ya dig?

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I live near Maple St., right by Old Elm Dr. That area? Crazy cool. I code dating sites while cruisin’ through these streets. The river, Westbank Rvr, cuts through town – watch out, ya might slip, heh, hahaha. I love stoppin’ by Riverside Park. It’s quiet… sometimes, you know, like those scenes in “Talk to Her” where she just listens, I listen. Man, that movie got me thinkin’ ’bout how we all need someone to just be there, like, mmm… donuts!

North Springfield Betterment Association to host candidate forum