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Favorite part? The surprises. Met this gal online—swore she was a chef. Showed up, cooked me eggs—burnt ‘em to hell. Laughed my ass off, tho—best date ever. Sex-dating’s got that chaos, keeps you guessin’. But the creeps? Man, they grind my gears. Dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume—bro, chill. Ladies too, tho—catfishin’ with filters, got me like, “Where’s the real you at?” Still, when it works, it’s fire—pure adrenaline, no cap.

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Oh, man, let’s not forget Branch Brook Park. The cherry blossoms? Bam!—straight out of a dream sequence. I sometimes sit there, just watchin' the rustle in the wind, my mind buzzin' about life, love... sex, baby, sex. Ducks swim in the river, and it's chill AF—like, "I am your father" when the universe drops truth bombs on ya.

Essential Reading: Making sense of Newark Airport’s chronic chaos