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But then—THEN—I hit gold. This dude, right? Knew all the spots. Took me to this dive bar, secret sex-dating meetup! Little known fact: back in the ‘90s, people used newspapers for this shit. Classifieds, “hot singles near you,” wild! Now it’s all Tinder, Grindr, whatever. He’s all smooth, I’m thinkin’, “This is my life now,” like Margaret’s drama, but hornier. Made me happy, dude—real connection, no bullshit.

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I stroll along the Passaic River, often during twilight. The water glistens, messin' with light and dark. Kind of like our own intergalactic saga. Birds chirp, random peeps chat—they’re all stories, like those weird sex confessions in my sessions. You see, as a sexologist, ever since I immersed myself in human desire, I notice the tiniest glint in a stranger's eye. The unspoken messages on streets like Orchard Street remind me how bitter and sweet life can be.

What we know about the massive staffing shortage that has caused 7 days of major delays at Newark Airport