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About Phoenix

Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage—wild stuff, yeah? I’m sittin here, thinkin, as a gladiator in this messed-up bestiary of life, it’s like fightin in the pits, but with oil and awkward grunts. Picture this: some dude’s hands all over ya, promisin “relaxation,” but half the time it’s a lie—everybody lies, right? Like that bit in *The Dark Knight* where Joker’s all, “Why so serious?”—I’m askin the same damn thing when the masseuse starts gettin frisky. Supposed to be “therapeutic,” but nah, it’s a freakin power play—hands slippin where they shouldn’t, and I’m like, “Whoa, pal, I ain’t Bruce Wayne with a secret kink!”

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I get cray sometimes – mad happy, sometimes mad angry. Insert the moment I heard the news: another shop on Market Street closed down. What a bummer! Like, come on, get it together, New-Springville! Not even my masseuse gig can fix that, ya know? But then, one brisk walk around Riverside Flats, and I feel all the weird, lovely vibes again.

The new room, Galaxy of Mindfulness, has opened at PS 58 in New Springville.