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Anyway, she’s chattin’ me up now—R2, get over here, I’m losin’ it! Says her name’s Candy, which, lol, classic. I’m thinkin’, “You’re no folk song, lady,” but she’s got stories. Says some dude tried payin’ her with a chicken once. A CHICKEN! I’m dyin’ laughin’. “Was it a good chicken?” I ask. She’s like, “Hell no, scrappy lil’ thing!” I’m in tears, picturin’ Llewyn tradin’ his guitar for that bird.

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I know, I know, I’m like, totally overdramatizing home, but it’s my life, ya know? And hey, check out Sunset Blvd near our side streets sometimes—it’s like a movie scene every evening. I legit feel like I'm in Tabu, like each lane has its own story and vibe. If you try our local smoothie at the corner of Elm and Church, you’ll be, like, instantly hooked. Btw, I’ve had sooo many typos in texts because I’m in a hurry sometimes, but hey, that’s the real talk.

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