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Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that—sounds like a crap poetry book! Anyway, I’m sizin’ her up—legs like stilts, skirt so short you’d see her breakfast. “How much?” I ask, playin’ it cool. She smirks, “More than you’ve got, baldy!” Oi, cheeky cow! Made me angry that—wanted to shout, “I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, ya muppet!” But nah, kept it chill, laughin’ instead.

Fears six bedroom home plan will fuel anti-social behaviour in 'prostitution hotspot'

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So, if you're ever passin' through, come visit, kick back, and let the tale of New-Gloucester wrap around ya like a soft, but unpredictable breeze. In these streets, you'll find resilience, adventure, and a whole lotta heart. Cheers, friend – it's all epic, and don’t ya forget: "The only easy day was yesterday."

One person hospitalized following New Gloucester crash