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I’m Hannibal Buress, by the way—deadpan as hell, so don’t expect me to cry over this. Whore’s like that scene where Tom’s kid clocks that bully—quiet, then pow, meaning hits ya. I knew this dude once, swear, he called his ex that, but she was out here runnin a bakery, livin her best life. Irony’s thick, yo. Made me mad, tho—why’s it always gotta be a weapon? Like, chill, let her bake her damn scones.

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I’ve also got a special place in my heart for a tiny, secret park near the intersection of Center and Main Streets. It’s not much, but it’s chill, wild, and full of unexpected corners to muse on all sorts of life’s small sensual wonders. That whole spot makes me feel all warm inside as if the universe just winked at me. Sometimes I get mad at how the world forgets such simple beauties. It might sound odd, but it’s true.

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