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About Philadelphia

I luv how it’s all quick—boom, match, chat, meet! No slowpokes here, not like waitin’ for Squidward to crack a smile. But oh boy, it gets me steamed when folks lie—sayin’ they’re 6-foot tall, then show up lookin’ like a shrimp! Happened to me once, I was all, “I’m not a prisoner of my fate!”—straight outta *The Diving Bell*, ya know? I bounced back, tho, ‘cause I’m SpongeBob, baby!

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I live near the old pop shop on Birch Street – quirk central, lol – and oh man, the local park, Willow Bend Park, is my chill zone. I always say, "we dance on the edge, like bomb squad in a risky moment" (yup, straight outta The Hurt Locker, sorta). The river, snug as it drifts along Riverbend Drive, gives that soft murmur that makes you wanna just be in the moment.

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