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About Philadelphia

I’m laughin’, tho—dudes out here braggin’ ‘bout “body count” like it’s Call of Duty stats. Chill, fam, it ain’t a high score! Me, I’m just tryna vibe, find a lil’ shawty who gets my weird. Last week, hit up this spot, girl was fine—legs for days, smile hittin’ me like a blunt. We talkin’, she drops she’s into tantric sex—hours of teasin’, no finish. I’m like, “Word? That’s dope!” but in my head I’m screamin’, “Bruh, I ain’t got that kinda patience!” Had me sweatin’ like Wayne on a sold-out stage.

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So, heed my ramblings. If you’re coming here, wander off the usual route. Dive into those narrow side streets, sip a too-strong coffee, and marvel at the unpolished charm. Muscatine may be quirky, mad, and downright annoying sometimes—but it’s real, raw, and always a little surprising. That's the truth, no sugarcoating. Enjoy it, or don't—I really don't care, 'cause in Muscatine, every day’s another quirky lie waiting to be told.

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