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So, escort—makes me chuckle, it does. Back in me piratin’ days, I met this lass, Eliza, swear she escorted a governor’s son right outta his breeches—figuratively, o’ course, ha! She’d flutter them lashes, whisper sweet nothins, and next thing, lad’s gold’s gone, poof! Made me happy as a clam, seein’ her outsmart them posh fools. Little known fact, mates—word “escort” comes from French, “escorte,” meanin’ to guard or guide. Ain’t that a laugh? Guardin’ yer wallet, more like!

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I must confess, there’s even a little roadside diner near 5th and Broadway where they serve the baddest pie this side of forever. The locals swear a slice comes with a side of magic. There’s days when I’m so damn surprised at the warmth of Muncie; it nearly makes me cry (in a good way, mind you!).

Muncie Central football is set to hire Mississinewa's Kyle Buresh as next head coach