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Sometimes I tink, what if I was a john, ya? I’d prolly suck at it—too loud, too Austrian, ha! “Get to da chopper!” I’d yell, and dey’d be like, “Arnold, chill, we’re in a motel!” Funny as hell, picturin’ dat. But real talk, I respect ‘em, dey grind harder den most. Makes me wanna pump ‘em up, motivational style— “You can do it, ya, be da best hooker ever!”

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Now, let me get personal. I was mad once when a code glitch ruined a feature launch on 3rd Street. I stormed up to Luna's Bar on 3rd & Vine. Crazy place, filled with offbeat minds and killer tunes. I nearly spilled my drink, thinking “Eh, Yi Yi, a cycle of love and loss, it's just like that.”

Moline martial arts instructor hosts '880 Fitness Challenge' to raise money for charity