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So, we’re hagglin’ – I’m like, “Ten quid, c’mon!” She’s all, “Twenty or piss off.” I’m ragin’, but also crackin’ up – she’s harder than me on a bender! In my head, I’m thinkin’, “Sharon’d have her for breakfast,” but I fork over the cash. Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – I’m seein’ Eilis again, “You’re the most beautiful thing,” but this ain’t love, it’s quick and dirty, mate.

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I gotta mention my fav haunt – the little scoop at Sunset Diner on 3rd Ave. Best late-night grub ever. I always joke that the food here heals more than my magic massage hands. And oh my gosh, the smiles from regulars always remind me "I’m the king of my castle" – real Michael Scott style, right? Cringey optimisms all over, but ya feel me!

Monett City Council erupts over mayor’s conduct