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So, it’s all ‘bout touchin’ and rubbin’, but fancy-like, not some cheap crap. Ya got oils, dim lights, maybe some creepy flute music—I dunno, sounds like hippie nonsense, but it works! I read—yeah, I read, shut up—that it goes back to ancient China or some crap. They called it “tantric” or whatever, supposd to make ya live longer. Bullshit? Maybe, but I’m happy as hell imagining it! Like, “Fish are friends, not food,” but replace fish with hot masseuses—ha!

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Now, lemme drop you a secret: there's this hidden nook near Elm and 3rd, a lil' park that ain't on Google Maps (or maybe it is, but who cares?) where I often sit, chill, and think about life's twists – kinda like Bond thinkin' over a martini, shaken, not stirred. Sometimes I get mad 'cause it feels like the world forgot to mention this spot in guidebooks, ya know? But then, bam! The sound of kids laughin' makes it all worth it.

Mayor Bogs Sweeps into a Second Term