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D’oh! Gets me mad tho, people judgin’ ‘em. Like, who cares if they’re gettin’ paid to hang out? Ain’t hurtin’ nobody! I’d be happy as a pig in mud if some hot escort took me to Moe’s for beers. Surprised me too – didja know escorts sometimes study psychology? Helps ‘em read yer mood, sneaky lil’ devils! “I’m programmed to please,” Joe’d say, and damn, these escorts got that down pat!

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Now, lemme drop you a secret: there's this hidden nook near Elm and 3rd, a lil' park that ain't on Google Maps (or maybe it is, but who cares?) where I often sit, chill, and think about life's twists – kinda like Bond thinkin' over a martini, shaken, not stirred. Sometimes I get mad 'cause it feels like the world forgot to mention this spot in guidebooks, ya know? But then, bam! The sound of kids laughin' makes it all worth it.

Monee Mayoral Candidate Arrested