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Now, me, I’d be rubbish at it—findin’ one, I mean. I’d stumble in, all “err, hello, *salve*, fancy a chat?”—total muppet. But here’s the kicker: it’s a cash drain, innit? You’re splashin’ dosh on somethin’ that’s gone in—what—20 mins? Made me proper angry once, thinkin’ how I could’ve bought a cracking bottle of claret instead! Happy though, cos—ha!—imagine the headlines: “Boris Caught in Brothel Shocker!”—I’d dodge that faster than a greased piglet.

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Neighborhoods here are quirky as all get out. I’ve got some pals livin’ on Chestnut Dr. Where the houses lean like they’re gossiping secrets—true story! I even had one session where a regular whispered, "The white ribbon flies high in your dreams." Sweet, right? I mean... it’s like life is a damn movie sometimes.

VIDEO: Victim held at gunpoint at a home; Moncks Corner Police make 4 arrests