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Little tidbit fer ye—prostitutes in port towns used to signal ships with lanterns, code fer “come hither.” Rosie’s lot still got tricks like that, keepin’ it old-school. I’m impressed, aye, but I’m also knackered—legs wobbly as a ship in a storm. “I’m not entirely unnoble,” I slur, tryin’ to charm her, but she just rolls her eyes. Fair enough, lass.

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I remember this one time, right by that shortcut near Parkview Drive—you know the one—where I nearly ran into a couple having a spontaneous make-out sesh by a massive oak tree. That hit me hard—bam!—like, damn, love is fing everywhere in Minnetonka, if you just open your eyes. As a sexologist, I’m all about that raw, unfiltered energy. It’s art, it’s life, it’s nature on fing high volume.

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