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Apps like Tinder, bleh, swipe-swipe, no soul! “Words don’t mean nothing,” Godard whispers. Truth, precious! Dudes text “u up?” at 2 a.m. – bruh, I’m flossing dentures, chill! Sex-dating’s a game, all horny goblins pretending. Fun fact: back in ‘90s, pervs used chatrooms, now it’s all Insta thirst traps. Evolution, eh? Makes me mad, so mad – why no real talk? Just bang-bang, bye-bye.

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Oh, and darlin’, let me tell ya, being a sexologist in Middlesboro ain't all Freud and fancy theories. Nah, here it’s raw and real. I've seen couples fall in love on sleepy Sunday mornings in the local diner near Cedar Lane, and seen some crazy stuff in hidden corners of Nameless Alley. I once got mad ‘cuz a couple didn't tip their waitress—like, come on, show some respect! But then I remember, “The only way to be truly happy is to let go of being sad,” as Malick might say if he were our bartender, lightin’ up the night with wisdom, Lightbulb!

Middlesboro Police Charge Nine in Drug Trafficking Investigation