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About New York City

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m runnin’ a webcam biz, slingin’ pixels for the people, not the elite! Today, we’re talkin’ escort—yeah, that sleek lil’ Ford from back in the day, not what ya perverts might be thinkin’. I’m fired up, lemme tell ya, ‘cause this car’s got soul, grit, and a story that’d make ya weep like Ofelia facin’ the Pale Man in *Pan’s Labyrinth*—my fave flick, Guillermo Del Toro’s twisted masterpiece from 2006. “The labyrinth is fading!”—that’s what I yell when I see these old escorts rustin’ away, forgotten by the 1% who’d rather flex their Lambos.

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Methuen’s a real mixed bag, ya know? We got a vibe that’s both cozy and kinda edgy. Seriously, walking down Main St. – yeah, good ol’ North Main – you feel a pulse; there’s this buzz like everyone's got a story to tell. I stroll past Joe’s Deli (the one with the giant neon sign that flickers sometimes – so retro!) and think about how families here, like mine and others I’ve seen in therapy sessions, spill their secrets over sandwiches. Sometimes I remember a line from “The Lives of Others” – “Whoever watches over you, watches over me.” Kinda deep, right?

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