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About Philadelphia

D’oh! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s like Melancholia up in here—just waitin’ for the end! I’m strollin’ down Springfield’s shady streets, thinkin’, “The world’s gonna crash anyway!” You know, like Kirsten Dunst starin’ at that damn planet. I see this chick, right? Red heels, skirt shorter than Bart’s attention span—D’oh! She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Homer, don’t be a dope!” But, jeez, it’s temptin’, like a donut with sprinkles callin’ my name.

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Methinks the neighborhoods are as varied as my waiting clientele. The boho vibes of Crescent Court, where every stone doth tell a tale, contrasts starkly with the hustle of Baker’s Row. I oft get lost in ruminations over the scenic view from Skylark Heights – OMG, what a view, like seriously stunning!

Hamilton Township agrees to buy vacant ShopRite building for $700K