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Ayy, gabagool? Ova here! So, sex-datin’, huh? Man, what a freakin’ circus. You got these apps, right? Swipe left, swipe right, like you’re pickin’ prosciutto at the deli. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s wild out there. Back in the day, you hadda charm a broad in person—now? It’s all “hey, nice pics, wanna bang?” Boom, done. I seen some shit, lemme tell ya. This one time, I’m scrollin’, and some chick’s profile says, “Lookin’ for a man with a soul.” I’m like, what is this, *Dogville*? “The soul is a muscle!”—hah, Lars von Trier’d get a kick outta that.

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I live close to Riverside Drive. Ya see, that's one of my fave spots – a hidden river gem. You can sit there, watch the water glisten, and bury your worries. I always joke that my headspace is cleaner than that river on a good day. LOL, typin’ mistakes and all that!

Menomonee Falls School Board candidate Adam Sachs: Full responses to Express News questions